-Sitting at the…

-Sitting at the table after dinner, pulling out my new pen and starting to write- It’s been a while since momma sat down and wrote. Guess you could say we have been busy preparing for your arrival. We haven’t even figured out colors, themes or even names. But apparently we have done everything else. You two have no idea how loved you will be. You daddy is presently making you bedroom sets with his friend #Max from work. Each will be unique to each of you. Something girly for one and boyish for the other.

-Lifting my head to gaze out at my family, my pack, my husband and my love. All soon to be growing. Soon to be bigger. And nothing made me happier-

Momma has grown a bunch, her belly is big enough now to hold a plate of food. Which…I have never done -chuckles for a moment before continuing- Ok ok. Maybe once or twice. But either way. One of your little seamonkies kicked the whole plate of food over. A tear was shed that morning. -Lightly tapping my stomach- You two are growing as well. When we saw your ultrasound last week, you no longer looked like little beans. You were actual little humans. 

Little humans. Babies. I wouldn’t be a new mother if I wasn’t a little scared right? This is what I’m telling myself every time something pops up. Like what if I drop one of you? What if I mixup your peanut butter with jelly or nuttella and you get so mad you hate me? A million things go through mommas mind most days. I\m glad your Daddy is around to help. I know I couldn’t do this on my own. I’d be so confused and….I don’t even wanna think about it

The next couple entries will be of people in your life that you will meet and hopefully cherish as much as we do.

We love you to the moon and back forever seamonkies

Dad and Mom

~FYI Momma is avoiding sugar to prove to daddy she loves him more than her sweet sugary lover. So sorry in advance for all the veggies and things~

Daddy’s first entry

I guess you can say this is new to me. I never was the type to express my feelings or thoughts as to write them down. The best way I express myself is either fighting or expressing it through a song. Well for this occasion, neither fits for when your mom and I found out that we are having a boy and a girl last night, no song came to my mind.

We found out that we are having a boy and a girl who nothing in my wildest dreams thought would happened to me. Your mom is the one that made this happen for me. I know you’ve read about how we’ve meet from her point of view but once you hear mine, you’ll understand how much your mother means to me.

But.. I’ll save that for another day. Today it’s all about you two and your mother. I honestly think your mother is an Angel sent down to save me from the darkest pits that I was going through before we meet. We’ve had our ups and downs but my love for her grows stronger with each passing day. I love her to the moon and back, which you’ll hear us, says to each other often.

Know that you two will be love and protected not only by your mother your pack, and me, which will greet you when you both come screaming into this crazy world. I know your mother is scared something will go wrong with you two but I know you two will be just fine. I am

amazed that we’ve created you both from our love together. I can’t wait to see you both.

-Paste the picture from Monday night August 28, 2012 showing that we indeed are having a girl and a boy-

We got to hear your heart beats tonight and they are good and strong; just like we wanted to hear. Then coming to see what sex both of you are; which caused both of us to be extremely excited.

Seamonkies beat to their own rythym

We honestly didn’t care which sex you were going to be, but we are proud to have both. Either way we’ll love you both till our undying days.

-Shaking my head at how much I’ve written-

All right, I think this is the ending for me. Not sure how to end it but just know we can’t wait for you both to be with us. Behave and stop banging on your mother, that’s my job. – chuckles-

-Having spent most of the day writing and trying desperately to find the words to tell @HerveauxAlpha just how amazing he was. And how much he was loved by this little red. Resting my hand on my stomach as my eyes slipped closed, humming softly and gently rapping my finger along to my own beat- I…was made for you. –A slight grin grows on my cheeks as the pen practically takes to life. Scratching out my own lyrics. Just for my wolf.-

So today mommy asked herself what life would be without your dad. You may think it’s crazy and hey I just met you….-lifts my head with a blink, glancing back down with a shake of my head-…someone remind mommy NOT to listen to that damn song anymore. Anyways…where would my life be if I hadn’t met and married him. Guess we should start at the beginning.

Mommy was reeling from a previous relationship. Her heart was pretty much shattered and she really thought she’d be alone forever. Mommy had tried everything to try and smile. Her mom and dad even tried to smother her in love. But to no avail. Mommy was broken. In that time mommy had bought her own little cabin in the woods. Just a room and a kitchen, not like she was going to have any company anyway. –My heart already racing as I recall meeting my wolf- Now mommy had also adopted a little chocolate lab named Thor, don’t worry guys you’ll meet him…and all our pack. But he was almost as disastrous as mommy and had somehow managed to dig a hole through the old deck and get stuck underneath. This made mommy…so crazy. And she was already on a sugar high. And if mommy remembers correctly…wearing wonderwoman panties and a matching tank top cause wonder mutt Thor took off with her pants. –chuckles loudly before writing again, feeling the twins kick in unison-

Anyway…Mommy got daddies number from a friend named Sookie. She’s kinda gonna be like your auntie. Shes amazing too. So once mommy had the number she called, practically begging the man on the other end to come quickly. The fence needed to be fixed, couldn’t have Thor getting hurt right. So in a chaotic blur of mommy chasing after Thor half naked and daddy not paying attention, it made for an interesting run in.

Daddy was beautiful. His skin glowed in the sunlight and he had more muscles in more places than mommy had ever seen on a human. Her eyes may have literally popped out of her head. So when he accepted the job and said it would take a few days, she was tickled pink. Those few days and every day since changed mommies life forever.

-Quickly wiping my eyes, smiling wide- Your daddy is one of the most amazing people I have ever met. Strong, loving and no matter what is always there for you. He can make me laugh when the world seems to want to do nothing but make me cry. His voice still to this day makes my skin tingle and a shiver to down along my spine. I would be lost without him, no part of me doubts that. He was mommies savior. Her wolf in white fur. And I pray to every god known that you two grow up to be just as amazing as him.

-Pausing and lifting my head, fighting the urge to burst into tears as my eyes lift to the starfilled sky. Not caring as the tears fall, hitting record before singing the words I wrote for him-

I was taking a walk

When I saw you pass by

I thought I saw you looking my way

So I thought I’d give you a try

 

When I saw you smile

I saw a dream come true

So I asked you maybe, baby

What you gonna do?

 

’cause I have been waiting for a long, long time

For a boy like you

I won’t be waiting anymore ’cause I know

I was made for you

For you…my wolf in a white coat
-Pasting the recording to the side of the page, thankful for those cards that do this. Promises to buy another to repent the sacrifice of this one-
~Love Dad and Mom

Your Mom and Dad

-Slips the tape behind the photo before pressing it gently to the side-

Figured you needed a picture of your Mom and Dad. So this is us…we may look a little…unique -snickers- but you will never EVER be loved more by any other two people.
We love you seamonkies. Now. Always. Forever.

-Reaching over for our journal, safe and content in @HerveauxAlpha’s arms as I write. Lifting my head for a moment to count each pack member before turning my attention to the book-

My feet are like little piglets lately. Thank the gods for slip on shoes. Mommy loves them. You two are starting to get heavier and well…my center of gravity is already screwed. My fingers aren’t too bad, I’ve had to wear only my engagement and promise ring to my necklace. And as for stretch marks…thankfully once again. Momma has none -lifts my hands doing a mini happy dance-

They say most mothers will start feeling babies’ movement around this week…even though I am not your typical mother, you guys feel like you’re having a mini rave in there. Seriously. Whats all the poking for. If this is what you guys are gonna be doing for the remaining of your time in my body. Could you at least be gentle? -pausing to gently rap my fingers over my stomach-

I change my mind. Kick away. At least then mommy knows you two are ok. That’s the one thing I can’t seem to control about this whole thing. I mean eating right and not running and bouncing…pretty much everything mommy did…to make sure you are alright. But…I can’t peek in. That’s the most frustrating thing. But I trust Rica and your dad {Even if he says I’m hormonal and it’s just gas}…they will keep all three of us safe always. I am also eating like a hippopotomouse?! However you spell it.

Speaking of daddy. I tried to talk him into this whole journal thing, and that was much easier said that done. He isn’t one to easily write down his feelings? Which is weird because, he has an amazing way with words when he talks to me about something he’s passionate about. Maybe he’s just afraid that he’ll sound weird or something

-shrugging even though I’m writing, lifting my head to a slight whimper as Boo’s legs twitch. Whispers- “You get that bunny girl”

-quietly going back to write, desperate to finish before she howls and wakes everyone-

So that’s when I thought of something. A song he was singing earlier and I could tell by the beam of pure happiness his face gave off that it was for you two. So…maybe this is his way of sharing his feelings? Either way. It’s one of our favorite songs…one you two will be hearing lot. 

“Never Say Never”

Some things we don’t talk about
Rather do without
And just hold the smile
Falling in and out of love
Ashamed and proud of
Together all the while

You can never say never
While we don’t know when
But time and time again
Younger now than we were before

Don’t let me go

Picture, you’re the queen of everything
As far as the eye can see
Under your command
I will be your guardian
When all is crumbling
To steady your hand

You can never say never
While we don’t know when
Time, time, time again
Younger now than we were before

Don’t let me go

We’re pulling apart and coming together again and again
We’re growing apart but we pull it together, pull it together, together again

Don’t let me go

 

-Smiles adding the photo of my belly to the opposite side of the paper as well as one I found that is both mommy and daddy closing the book and snuggling back into my wolf-

-Settling beside the pool, watching @HerveauxAlpha and the pups for a moment before writing in our journal-

As slow as this is all going, I can’t believe I’ve made it this far. Every week that goes by just blows me away.

Today you are approx. 15 weeks. And mommy cannot believe how much you two have grown. It’s like I swallowed a basketball or three.

Overall, I’m feeling pretty good. All over the place emotional wise. I feel bad for your dad. One minute mommy is happy and the next… -groaning softly as I write- …she’s a crazy person. @JericaMalone is your very first doctor. She’s making sure mommy stays healthy and outta trouble…at least till you two are out -giggling softly- I jotted down some notes so I can remember how you grew and what happened to my body. Which by the way. Daddy is loving my breasts…I know you don’t wanna hear this and I can only imagine the look your going to give me when you’re old enough to read this…but they are huge. Like watermelons. Wolf can’t get enough.

How far along: ..15 weeks..

Maternity clothes: Mhmmm.

Stretch marks: None yet thank god!

Sleep: I’m getting a lot of sleep!

Best moment this week: When Alcide talked to my belly! 

Miss Anything: Being able to bounce around and sugar…I still have it but not as much -Groans-

Movement: I’ve felt a few things that I thought could’ve been the baby, but I don’t know for sure.

Food cravings: I always want ice cream and pancakes. And a sugar covered wolf. Always.

Belly Button in or out: Still in -Double checks-

Happy or Moody most of the time: I don’t even know. Probably more moody right now. Actually I’m all over the place. I feel bad for @HerveauxAlpha

Looking forward to: Holding my babies.

I can’t wait to meet you little sea monkies, neither can your dad. We have so much love to give,you two will never ever be in need of that. You will have the whole world, no matter what it takes.

We love you Now. Always and forever -adding the newest belly picture to the page with a smile before signing our names and sealing it with a kiss-

~Dad and Mom

-Sneaking out of bed after kissing @HerveauxAlpha, still unable to sleep with all the excitement from today. Glancing down at Boo- Can’t sleep either Boo? -Scratching behind her ears and patting my leg for her to follow me into the bathroom. Standing on my toes searching for the perfect scent, grinning as the chocolate dream bubble bath comes into view- You will do…-Watching as the bubbles grow and Boo barks. Holding a finger to my lips as I slide in. Leaning back and squirming to get comfy before reaching for our journal and the Polaroid. Snapping a quick pic and sticking it on the side of the tub to tape inside later before starting to write-

So we learned today there are two of you….yes TWO of you. We don’t know if you are boys or girls or a boy and a girl. But it won’t matter…you will be loved more than you can ever imagine. When Rica told us about you both I thought my heart was going to burst, then I looked at your father. He was practically beaming, it was the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen. I know this won’t be easy on him with my hormones already rearing their ugly head. Can I tell you something? I’m scared. Alcide keeps telling me there is nothing to be scared of but. I just…what if I do something wrong? What if I forget one of you at the store…or in the car?  What if I’m not a good mom? Like really suck at it?

The scariest thing…what if you let everyone down?

 

 

-sighs softly, wiping the tears from my face before tucking the pen back into the journal with the picture. Tucking them aside and sinking under the water to wash the bubbles and this feeling away before making my way back into my wolf’s arms for the night-

 

Love Dad and Mom